Since I could not really concentrate on updating the blog during labor, Josh recruited one of his dearest friends to help with the "play by play" of events. Here is the progression of my labor experience through his words (with some insight and tidbits from Josh). Thought you would enjoy the humor. Don't worry though ... I will be providing my own labor story in a future posting. I'm sure some of the details may be a little different via a third party observer.
The Farrell Baby Alert by Gregory Ensell
Labor +16 hours
Good morning all. After a frustrating text exchange with Josh I'm prepared to give you all an update:
6:30pm, Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - The Farrells check into Arrowhead Hospital and start drugs to speed effacement, a surprisingly violent sounding process that has something to do with the cervix and makes me very squeamish!
7:30am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn survives an evening in the hospital and successfully reaches 100% effacement, an accomplishment for which Josh takes credit.
9:00am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn receives the drug "Potocin" to begin inducing labor. Josh suggests they still have time to "Do it in the shower one last time before the baby".
10:15am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn reaches 2 centimeters dilation with contractions every two minutes, gets frustrated with Josh for suggesting they could have saved a bunch of money by doing this themselves at home - he is after all very handy, he did a great job of remodeling his bathroom all by himself, right? - and asks him to please stop being so supportive.
Still no word yet on when Baby Farrell will make his/her appearance. Jenn hopes it will be early afternoon - she does have a schedule to keep - in which case they may welcome visitors during the after-work time frame, an event that would redefine "Happy Hour"!
Stay tuned for future issues featuring articles like: 8 cm, get out the camcorder; I want my f.....ing epidural!; Dear God, why did you do this to me; and I'm so happy we had a girl and I don't have to explain why Daddy isn't like all the other daddies.
Cheers!
Labor +21 hours
Funny how time flies... Apparently, that’s not the case for Mrs. & Mr. Farrell. Here’s the latest:
11:15am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 – To her great relief, Jenn receives an epidural; however, she’s unsuccessful in her endeavor to lobby, cajole, and threaten the doctors into forcibly giving Josh a Valium. Seriously, O-Lan from The Good Earth may have had to give birth, work in the fields and have dinner ready before Wang Lung got home, but she never had to debate with Josh about whether she's “taking the weak way out” by getting an epidural.
2:00pm, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 – Jenn weathers increasingly regular contractions while waiting for the doctor to arrive to do what Josh describes as, “break out the yard stick and see just how big that things gotten.” They’re assuming he’ll swing by at the end of his shift, between 4:00pm – 6:00pm.
Still no word on Baby Farrell’s ETA. It sounds increasingly likely that he/she is poised to make a fashionably late entry sometime tonight. Amy and Dallas’ hopes are getting slimmer by the minute!
Stay tuned for more updates!
Cheers.
Labor +23 hours
Like the Energizer Bunny, labor is still going... Here's the latest:
3:59pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn's doctor miraculously arrives early and reports she's 4cm dilated and the baby has dropped to "-1", whatever that means, this baby shit is confusing.
4:04pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Josh calls Greg to provide an update.
4:06pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Greg tries to re-cork bottle of Dom when he learns 4cm is still 6cm short of the goal and each cm of dilation takes approximately 2 hours (6cm x 2 hours per cm = 12 hours!!!).
4:50pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Josh decides he's digging this "labor thing" because he's learned to make his questions, logical fallacies, or verbal berating last until the next contraction so Jenn can't shoot him down.
It's unclear if they'll be in the mood to host a visitor or two from 7-8pm - they are having a baby, you know - but let me know if you're interested and I'll keep you in the loop.
That's all for now.
Baby +14 hours
Sorry for the delay people. These things don't write themselves! Here's what we got:
6:00pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Dilation moves to 6cm Jenn and Josh settle in for a long evening. Josh says he's in no hurry..."Cleopatra ain't the only Queen of Da Nile." Jenn corrects him, she's "ready to do this thing anytime now!"
7:01pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Jenn's doctor, in an attempt to get home early, "manually dilates" to 8cm. Josh declares he had to buy Jenn dinner to get that far... fruitlessly, Jenn looks for something to throw.
7:41pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Doctor reports 9cm, asks Josh if he want's to be the one to "reach in and pull him/her out." Josh seriously considers it, thinking it may help him "get more for his money."
8:45pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Jenn's epidural wears off, screams at Josh "Why did I let you do this to me? I hate you!" Josh, after reminding the doctor who's paying the bill, asks if he can get an epidural too.
8:50pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Dilation reaches 10cm. Doctor says "I don't care if your contractions are only 7 minutes a part, if I can get both hands in there it's time to go!"
8:51pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Josh stutters "episi-what-omy!" His world view is permanently changed.
8:55pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Madilyn Rae Landers is born 8lbs 4oz, 21.5 inches.
9:01pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Jenn hands Josh Madilyn. Madi wraps her hand around Josh's little finger. Josh declares this is the best thing he's ever done, turns around walks off to show the other parents his singular accomplishment.
11:30am, Thursday, February 25th, 2010 - Greg meets Madilyn for the first time, declares she's the best thing he's ever done. Secretly wonders how it's possible Jenn and Josh gave birth to such a quiet, well-mannered, peaceful child. Seriously, WTF? Are children like math where two negatives make a positive?
11:50am, Thursday, February 25, 2010 - Jenn feeds Madilyn, says I think she has a preference of boobs! Josh says he and Madi will have to compare notes when the time comes.
11:59pm, Thursday, February 25, 2010 - Jenn and Josh begin the first of many debates on what to dress Madi. Surprising no one, Jenn wins.
Baby Madilyn and Mrs. and Mr. Farrell are now accepting visitors. They will be at the Arrowhead Hospital one more night. Channeling his future showbiz dad, Josh says come on down. Visiting hours are from 10am to 8pm.
The Farrell Baby Alert by Gregory Ensell
Labor +16 hours
Good morning all. After a frustrating text exchange with Josh I'm prepared to give you all an update:
6:30pm, Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - The Farrells check into Arrowhead Hospital and start drugs to speed effacement, a surprisingly violent sounding process that has something to do with the cervix and makes me very squeamish!
7:30am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn survives an evening in the hospital and successfully reaches 100% effacement, an accomplishment for which Josh takes credit.
9:00am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn receives the drug "Potocin" to begin inducing labor. Josh suggests they still have time to "Do it in the shower one last time before the baby".
10:15am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn reaches 2 centimeters dilation with contractions every two minutes, gets frustrated with Josh for suggesting they could have saved a bunch of money by doing this themselves at home - he is after all very handy, he did a great job of remodeling his bathroom all by himself, right? - and asks him to please stop being so supportive.
Still no word yet on when Baby Farrell will make his/her appearance. Jenn hopes it will be early afternoon - she does have a schedule to keep - in which case they may welcome visitors during the after-work time frame, an event that would redefine "Happy Hour"!
Stay tuned for future issues featuring articles like: 8 cm, get out the camcorder; I want my f.....ing epidural!; Dear God, why did you do this to me; and I'm so happy we had a girl and I don't have to explain why Daddy isn't like all the other daddies.
Cheers!
Labor +21 hours
Funny how time flies... Apparently, that’s not the case for Mrs. & Mr. Farrell. Here’s the latest:
11:15am, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 – To her great relief, Jenn receives an epidural; however, she’s unsuccessful in her endeavor to lobby, cajole, and threaten the doctors into forcibly giving Josh a Valium. Seriously, O-Lan from The Good Earth may have had to give birth, work in the fields and have dinner ready before Wang Lung got home, but she never had to debate with Josh about whether she's “taking the weak way out” by getting an epidural.
2:00pm, Wednesday, February 24, 2010 – Jenn weathers increasingly regular contractions while waiting for the doctor to arrive to do what Josh describes as, “break out the yard stick and see just how big that things gotten.” They’re assuming he’ll swing by at the end of his shift, between 4:00pm – 6:00pm.
Still no word on Baby Farrell’s ETA. It sounds increasingly likely that he/she is poised to make a fashionably late entry sometime tonight. Amy and Dallas’ hopes are getting slimmer by the minute!
Stay tuned for more updates!
Cheers.
Labor +23 hours
Like the Energizer Bunny, labor is still going... Here's the latest:
3:59pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Jenn's doctor miraculously arrives early and reports she's 4cm dilated and the baby has dropped to "-1", whatever that means, this baby shit is confusing.
4:04pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Josh calls Greg to provide an update.
4:06pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Greg tries to re-cork bottle of Dom when he learns 4cm is still 6cm short of the goal and each cm of dilation takes approximately 2 hours (6cm x 2 hours per cm = 12 hours!!!).
4:50pm Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - Josh decides he's digging this "labor thing" because he's learned to make his questions, logical fallacies, or verbal berating last until the next contraction so Jenn can't shoot him down.
It's unclear if they'll be in the mood to host a visitor or two from 7-8pm - they are having a baby, you know - but let me know if you're interested and I'll keep you in the loop.
That's all for now.
Baby +14 hours
Sorry for the delay people. These things don't write themselves! Here's what we got:
6:00pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Dilation moves to 6cm Jenn and Josh settle in for a long evening. Josh says he's in no hurry..."Cleopatra ain't the only Queen of Da Nile." Jenn corrects him, she's "ready to do this thing anytime now!"
7:01pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Jenn's doctor, in an attempt to get home early, "manually dilates" to 8cm. Josh declares he had to buy Jenn dinner to get that far... fruitlessly, Jenn looks for something to throw.
7:41pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Doctor reports 9cm, asks Josh if he want's to be the one to "reach in and pull him/her out." Josh seriously considers it, thinking it may help him "get more for his money."
8:45pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Jenn's epidural wears off, screams at Josh "Why did I let you do this to me? I hate you!" Josh, after reminding the doctor who's paying the bill, asks if he can get an epidural too.
8:50pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Dilation reaches 10cm. Doctor says "I don't care if your contractions are only 7 minutes a part, if I can get both hands in there it's time to go!"
8:51pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Josh stutters "episi-what-omy!" His world view is permanently changed.
8:55pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Madilyn Rae Landers is born 8lbs 4oz, 21.5 inches.
9:01pm, Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Jenn hands Josh Madilyn. Madi wraps her hand around Josh's little finger. Josh declares this is the best thing he's ever done, turns around walks off to show the other parents his singular accomplishment.
11:30am, Thursday, February 25th, 2010 - Greg meets Madilyn for the first time, declares she's the best thing he's ever done. Secretly wonders how it's possible Jenn and Josh gave birth to such a quiet, well-mannered, peaceful child. Seriously, WTF? Are children like math where two negatives make a positive?
11:50am, Thursday, February 25, 2010 - Jenn feeds Madilyn, says I think she has a preference of boobs! Josh says he and Madi will have to compare notes when the time comes.
11:59pm, Thursday, February 25, 2010 - Jenn and Josh begin the first of many debates on what to dress Madi. Surprising no one, Jenn wins.
Baby Madilyn and Mrs. and Mr. Farrell are now accepting visitors. They will be at the Arrowhead Hospital one more night. Channeling his future showbiz dad, Josh says come on down. Visiting hours are from 10am to 8pm.
Comments
I can't wait for Jeremy to read this (and he's never read any labor story, including my own).
This birth story is made of win!! LOVE!
Congratulations! Just an absolutely wonderful family!
-Bree